


Chinese Food

by ravenbitch, TwoShakesofaLambsTail



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Chopsticks, Crack Relationships, Eddie Lives, Eddie is a Bottom, Fix-It, Jade of the Orient, M/M, Only the first chapter is underage, Pennywise non-con, Public Sex, Reddie, Richie is a top, Semi-Public Sex, acid washed ripped jeans, crack-fic, eddie gives the best head, pennywise - Freeform, r+e, second chapter is placed during chapter two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 17:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20728286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenbitch/pseuds/ravenbitch, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoShakesofaLambsTail/pseuds/TwoShakesofaLambsTail
Summary: Two years ago I wrote one of the most iconic fics of all time with my best friend. It was never published. But I have returned with both the original and the sequel.Aka Eddie and Richie fuck while eating Chinese food and it's very amusing to only me. I try to be funny and just absolutely fail





	1. Hungry Boyz

Eddie waited impatiently for fucking trash boi to return. 

Where the frick are you asshat. Me hoi hunger 

He heard the front door open.

“Honey, I'm home!” called Richie. As Eddie turned into the hallway, he saw that Richie’s arms were filled with boxes of Chinese food.

“Where were you, bitchboy?” Eddie screeched. 

“I was getting food, my spagetti-dicked darling,” Richie spoke in his fuckin annoying little voice.

Eddie blushed at such a statement about his genitals. “Gimme china food now my pussy of a boyfriend. Me hunger.” he said,walking back to the kitchen.

After the food had been laid out on the table, Richard began impersonating felatio on an egg roll. Eddie looked up and fuckin gay gasped as he thought richie would die of auto asphyxiation. Then he fuckin choked on his sticky ass rice. He just made a big fucking mess what a noodle head.

Rochie leaprded up and fuclin heimliched his lover, knocking over his fuckin food in the process. “Don't you die on me Eddie Spaghetti! HWAH!!!”” he yelled as he thrust.In his panic 

Eddie spat out the food he choke on and panted as if he just had erotic intercourse. “R-Richie that was… so gooooood.” he whisper.

Richie rested his chin on eddies shoulder and kissy his neck because he looove a bitchboy. “Youre safe now bbyboy.” he whispered softly in his ear canal.

“Gosh darn it, I've made a mess!! I'm a stinky boy :(.” Said ed

Richie yell, “Eds, it's okay. We’'ll clean it up.”

“How?” Asked Eddie.

Richie smirked deviously. “Oh Daddy will show you how Baby boy!” he chuckled pushing him onto the table and eddies clothes dissappesred!. Richie grabbed soy and duck sauce and lathered eddies anal hole to such an extent that his butthole was dripping! 

Eddie let out a sound of a wounded animal. Richie grabbed a chopstick and circled edwards hole making the boy giggle UwU “Daddy Rich that tickles!” just then richard thrusted the stick deep inside is butt! Eddie screech in pain “owowoOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWO THATS GOOD” he moaned vigorusly as his tiny 2 inch dinker lifted in excitment! And then, rchie shoved in a second stick and started to do the motion one would use when picking up food like a normal hetero human being.

Richie removed the sticks and instead inserted his little Chihuahua. Richie grabbed a handful of chicken and sticky rice and smeared it through eddies hair. Eddie moaned loudly. 

After Richie came, Eddie turned around. “That was deliscus, my turn,” Eddie say all gay n shit.

He filled his hands with chinken and began rubbing it on Richie’s nipples. Richie groaned like a bear or smth. 

“Are you hungry babe?” Eddie asked.

“yeah, and horny” he winked

Eddie smirked as he go on his wittle knees and covered richards 90 incher cock in rice “Its like sushi!” he giggiled as he ate haappily and made wittle num num sounds!!!

When they finished, then laid on the table, covered in several types of sticky goo ;) soy,duck,teriyaki,secret, and seamen sauce to be exact!

“Ready for a fortune cookie, eds” asked richi÷.

“only if you are, my hunny bunny,” reply spag boy.

As he cracked the cookie, he squeezed his bfs lil d. Bill and lil jew boy the rapper stan the man walk in wearing matching acid washedripped jeans and have a bagfrom h&m with friendship acid washed ripped jeans in hand so Eddie and Richie can match. stan gasped, appalled by such a mess “My valentino white table!” he weeped and then bill smirked “ill have what reddies having” he said smoooching his mans face hole

*laugh track*  
*credits role*


	2. Jade of the Orient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, it's time for some twinks to go down on some Chinese food, 27 years later. If you comment you will get one (1) pair of ripped acid wash jeans.

Jade of the Orient

As the gangee walked out of the private dining facility after being filled with the goods and wearing matching acid washed ripped jeans, Richie held Eddie back.  
“Eds… bby I am so Gaye only bennywise knows,,,blease don’t tell the losvers”  
"Bitchard… I would never do that to you," Edward said, beofre seductively sucking his finger. This riled richie up, making his pp a little hard, making a half hard half flaccid 90 incher in his acid wash, ripped jeans.

"T heres one fortune cookie left…" Eddie say, Gayly .

"OMG let's look!!!!" Richie strode. BIG steppy to cookie. 

"The I'm cookie monster lol" said Eddie as he bit into the cookie. He made a shocked face and opened his mouth. A condom spilled out. 

Richie gasped “out fortune is to be safe!”

“You bitchboy, it means a diggilly diggilly do a blow job just for you!” Eddie said in cock monster voice and was instantly on his knees in front of Richies sweltering bluge in his acid washed, ripped jeans.

Richard slowly unzipped his ripped acid wash,ripped jeans. He felt an excited he hadn't felt aince he was 13. He was jolly.

Edward. 

He licked his lovers pee pee, darting eyes around, fearing a waitor may walk in on them. He suckled, hard. His hand running down the matterial of Richies acid washed ripped jeans

Richard was big smile. He was so glad to be reunited with his first love. But when he looked down, it was his second love, benyywise!!!!! Omg!

The blue job became suddenly sloppy and aggressive. Nickeldumb slobbered one n his dick, grinding his teeth against Richies skin. B itchard scream.

"NO HOMO!" screamed the clown. The clown then did his little dance. "A DIGGLEDY  
DIGGLEDY DO, A BLOW JOB JUST FOR YOU" 

Bitchard then took his large cock and whacked- a -moled bennywises face “you stupid dumb dumb bad cock sucker! You suck cock bad!” He screemed at B-Wise the rapper

Rip B-wise, sloppy bitch will not be missed 

Now that nickledumb is dead, eddward reappeared and is not dead!  
Richie let our big cry “eds!!! My biggest fear was that you suck cock bad! It was penny all along”  
Eddie smiled in the softest way possible and shook his head in endearment “oh rick, I’m the best cock sucker, now how about I releave your tenshion.” 

Edward threw Richie onto the table with his babey handsys  
Richie gay gasped “Eds I have never found you more attractive, even when you were being a little bitch in the haddock”  
Eddie smirked with deviance behind his serpentine glance “well the fund just beginning richlard” 

Richard felt Fear. "OMG its quarterstupid,,,," 

"Haha jk lol. Anyway please prolapse my anus now." Say eddie.

"Will do!" Said Richard enthusiastically. He flopped his dinker on the table. Eddie spread his ass cheeks over the unbeaten remains of dinner. When he turned to face Richie he slurped a long noodle into his twink mouth. 

The dick was then inserted. EDDIE SCREAMED IN JOY AND AGONY. THE DICK WAS TOO BIG!

"You weren't lying when we were kids," said Eddie, "that dinker is HUMONGO!"

Richie chuck me as he thrust into eddies love button “you’re so tight ünd dry Edward lemme get the duck sauce lube, like old times!” Richie exclomed, Developming a germany accent. He reached over eddies little twink bod and grabbed the sauce left over from the losver meal and then dipped his fingys in it. He then smeared it all over eddies boyhole and his HUMONGO wang.

Eddie let out a gutteral war cry as Richies shlong ripps open his twink cave. “Oh papa! My cavern is so deep! You need the challenger deep to find my prostate!!” He chanted

Richies meat moved in and out of Eddie like when somebody has anal sex and is thrusting in and out of their partner’s asshole. “Oh yeah you like that little cherüb, I am Germany now” he said spanking eddies little bony ass like ahörse needing the extra push to start riding.

When Richie came, Eddie experienced bliss. Eddie fucking loves cum.

"That was amazing papi!" Eddie cries

"Anything for you son." Richie replied. Eddie sure did have father issues.

"Lets go back to the inn and," Eddie began, stroking his lovers belly button, "Have some more fun." 

"Sure thing, huney bunches of cum."

They turned around to see a small figure in the door. It was skate board kid. 

The skate board kid laughed “you two look like you just fucked each other’s moms!” He laughed pointing at the two

Eddies ⭐️ no dice ⭐️ tatpoo was sticking out of his now stretched out shirt and his hair looks like a tractor trailer just exploded in it because they didn’t know how to use their breaks in the mountain, not speaking from personal experience. And Richies belly button piercing poking out of his crop top and his acid washed, ripped jeans were saggy like a man who wanted to become someone’s bitch in prison, not speaking from personal experience.

A week later, they got married in the sewead. Richie was wearing his ripped acid wash jeans. Their relationship was kind of like a pair of ripped acid wash jeans. Sometimes it was too cold to wear because it of the large holes, like eddies holes, but they’re fashionable for every occasion. Foe their first anniversary, eichie gave his lover a pair of ripped acid wash jeabs. Years later. Their son received riches first pair of said jeans (with the cum stains still visible disputes various attempts by Edward to scrub them out only to cum again).

"I wore those when I fucked your dad lol"

"I'm going to commit Stanley bathtub"

And when you're a loser you have nothing to lose, not even acid wash ripped jeans. 

*face to black* (like mike) I meant face lol. Face. 

YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH

(This part was a hellish interaction I had with my best friend and worst enemy as we wrote this. She would not allow me to write fade. What the HECK!)

Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked it lol this fanfiction took a total of 1.7 years to write and it made me giggle bunches anyway I know this is old news but I can't believe Richie is gay. Stream dirty little secret. Stan pennywise

**Author's Note:**

> Isn't it good


End file.
